Note: Some arguments might seem re-hashed. However I HAD to have my say.
There is something about Frenchmen and their incredible inability to handle power (barring one man of course. He can do no wrong). Raymond Domenech is one such prime example. I used to be a fan of the French International team once upon a time for obvious reasons and Zidane (I guess that one was pretty obvious too). However I always detested Domenech because he is well, stupid to say the least. The reasons he gave for dropping Pires and Giuly from the squad for the 2006 World Cup were ridiculous. I don’t trust Scorpios he said. Or was it Cancerians? In any case he chose to source his judgment on the occult and when the man was born rather that how well he plays. How can you not shake your head in disbelief when you hear arguments as so ridiculous as that?
However the protagonist of this piece of literature is, as the title may suggest is Michel Platini and his bunch of cronies who call the shots at European Football’s seat of power. The plot is of course the ‘witch hunt’ (so succinctly labeled by our own wiser, smarter Frenchman) perpetrated by him against Eduardo. Platini has floated so many ridiculous theories and ideas during his tenure that it makes him look like a footballing Anti-Thomas Alva Edison. Sample this; an idea that was floated, that is comparable to nothing less than a piece of human excreta was the doing away of the ‘Away Fans’ concept. He claimed it would prevent hooliganism and situations like the ones recently witnessed at Millwall vs. West Ham and the Arsenal Fans vs. The Scummiest Mercenary in all of Great Britain and Togo (Credit: Felipe). Thankfully for us, the idea never took off and thankfully for him this wasn’t very widely reported unlike some of his other pearls. I wonder what made him realize the idea was the epitome of nonsense. Maybe EVEN his cronies laughed out loud thinking it was a joke and he laughed along as though that’s what he intended? Or, maybe he realized even HE couldn’t have attended say the semi finals last year seeing as he is neither from Manchester, nor from North London.
I digress. Let me tell you a little about the inefficiency of the UEFA based on reliable information gathered from other reputed bloggers and British newspapers.
Fact: UEFA claim to have sent Arsenal Eduardo’s charge sheet TWICE. One, Arsenal never received and the second one reached the headquarters of the Arsenal Ladies.
Fact: UEFA initially scheduled Eduardo’s appeal in Switzerland on the 9th of September. Might not seem unremarkable but for the fact that England were playing Croatia at Wembley on the same day. Maybe they assumed he was in possession of a Time Turner (if you are a fellow Harry potter aficionado) or a Time Machine (if you’re not; same difference).
Point is lil old Michel wanted an exhibit to moot his again ridiculous 5 referee rule. Cue, Eduardo, Enter, Stage Right. The Scottish F.A got into the act immediately and claimed to be grievously harmed. The hue and cry they were making, a casual observer could’ve mistaken it for a murder trial straight out of a Perry Mason book. Where were the press conferences and official complaints when Aidan McGeady got sent off for a second yellow in Celtic’s very next league game for, wait for it, DIVING? Hypocrites. A kangaroo court was convened, charges leveled, decision to ban taken and documents dispatched (or were they?) all in the blink of an eye. Is it any wonder that the charges were found baseless and dismissed on appeal?
Oh and the charge by the way was not DIVING. It was intent to deceive the referee. Tell me how did they figure that one out? Narco-analysis? Scopolamine? Polygraph? Nope. The Freudian part of Platini took over. He figured it out all by himself he did. I’d like to know how you prove intent in cases as vague as this. Regular readers might point out I called the episode ‘the greatest con since the release of that wonderful motion picture The Sting’. However that’s creative license. I do tend to exaggerate things a bit, my friends will know. I am allowed to do so. Not the UEFA. Not while they’re taking disciplinary action. Intent to deceive the referee. Interesting charge. So, does the diver have any more or less intent to deceive the referee than the opposing players on the touchline both of who claim the throw in? Surely one of them is lying. What does he get? A one game ban? The worst part is UEFA made it quite clear that they were treating it as a one off pre-emptive strike kind of action to discourage diving as a practice and that they would not be getting into the murkiness of uniformity of decisions and basically how they were going to treat the next ‘offender’. Talk about double standards. Clowns.
I do admit there didn’t appear to be much, if at all any contact. However the entire thing from start to finish took about 3, 3 and half seconds. Eduardo went real close to Boruc, and fell. Referee blew. Video evidence even now is inconclusive. Referee maintained at the appeals hearing that he felt there was contact. A very compelling piece of testimony from Eduardo reads,
“There was slight contact and I fell. I perhaps more than anyone know what can happen if there is contact at speed.”
Which is pretty much enough for me. Even if there wasn’t contact, I’d be likely to think he fell to avoid contact. If I had my leg broken in 4 places with my foot turned in the wrong direction with respect to the rest of my leg, I’d certainly do that too. And if the referee blew the whistle and pointed to the spot, I’m sorry I’d take the penalty too. I’m not Gandhi or Christ and neither is Eduardo I’m sure.
And don’t even get me started about the xenophobia of the English press, Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney. Or even Cristiano Ronaldo and Gamst Pedersen if you remember what I’m talking about.
On the other hand there are cases where intent is EASILY proven. It’s as easy as 1+1 sometimes really. Ergo The Scummiest Mercenary in all of Great Britain and Togo is done for. 3 games minimum though I’m thinking it probably is going to be 6. Very satisfactory day yesterday.
The Scummiest Mercenary in all of Great Britain
I disagree.. Tevez wins this title hands down
Scope illai
and rooney dives in the match against croatia….obviously nothing happened. but then again to quote one wise Arvind : “he sat. he didnt dive. he sat.”
one thing comes straight to my memory though…some guy from blackburn named pederson or something like that….blatant and horribly executed dive….nuthing happened though : no foul given, no card for diving but more importantly no ban….
i’d suggest everyone watch the highlights of tht match and look at the irony 🙂
if eduardo was charged with intent to deceive the referee, this guy should have been charged with intent to cheat the referee off all his life savings
and tht match was against arsenal 😛
Sample Fellow. Second last para. Who do you think Gamst Pedersen i referred to is? 😛
ohhh yea…tht guy only….shud have cited babel’s dive against arsenal in the CL quarters instead…
Ya satisfactory day indeed 🙂 Platini latest gem is 8 homegrown players 3 yrs honed from academy.. If ppl want to pull a plug on the rise of a Ronaldo, Fabregas, anderson this might be jus it :)Whats he thinking only god knows
Fabregas would be playing for Barcelona – if there was anything that denied him a Champions League medal, it was his transfer to Arsenal.