Posts Tagged ‘Gloat’

In my experience, predictions made by the ‘expert pundits’ have a success rate equal to that of Bangladesh in Test Cricket. Factor in that even a draw counts as a success to the Bangladeshis and it makes this statistic infinitely bleaker. All sooth saying that have been done with Reputations as a frame of reference this time around in South Africa have fallen flat; as flat as Russell Peters’ stand up shows are when you watch them for even just the second time. (more…)


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For You, a Hundred Times Over.

Giggs + Valencia + Nani + Fletcher + Scholes + Carrick = One Frank Lampard

– Gary Lineker

One Hundred And Three Goals. Only one Super Frankie Lampard.

Did I mention Premier League Champions?

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One minute I’m composing the title concession in my head. The next minute I’m jumping over the sofas and chairs and everything else in my way in my house cos this house just ain’t big enough to hold a Manc celebrating a Double Double over the most hated team in the league. And our most hated team ever.


As much clarity as my phone would allow!

More on this after the Spud hopefully do something with Chelshit. Maybe kick Terry in the balls. I’m sure Wayne Bridge would appreciate that.

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Famous Arsenal fan

Every team goes into a new season with ambitions befitting their status. The newly promoted sides attempt desperately to stay up, the stragglers of the previous year hope to secure a place mid table, the decent but not great sides aim for the UEFA Cup or the Europa League as it has been rechristened, Arsenal, United, Chelsea and Liverpool shoot for the league and the Champions League. (more…)

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You’ve got big balls, and we’ve got big balls.
But he’s got the biggest balls of them all!

– AC/DC on Carlo Ancelotti.

The Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks left, you go right. It’s a gamble. It’s also spectacular when pulled off correctly. Just ask Slevin.

And in yet another episode of Didier, Didier, What’s the Score?, that’s exactly what Ancelotti pulled.To start with Drogba on the bench was a gamble, and there are no two ways about it. Very few defenders are capable of handling the kind of power and physical presence Drogba brings to the playing field. Yet, how do you better a team that banged in seven against Villa? But in case you don’t play Drogba and you lose, we all know where the finger of blame will point. I’m sure Ancelotti considered all this and more before handing in the team sheet on Saturday. The move showed that, paraphrasing Kipling, he can make one heap of all his winnings, and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, or in other words, put his massive cahunas on the line when it matters most.

That’s why Carlo Ancelotti becomes the inaugural recipient of  BigFourZa’s Big-Balls award.


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Chelsea played Aston Villa in a fixture that was considered one amongst the many possible stumbling blocks in the Blues’ run in. The Chelsea starting line up did not feature Didier Drogba. Chelsea’s line up however, did feature

Frank Lampard.

In an unspecified year, Chelsea needed to go play Manchester United at Old Trafford. Being very bored and very sober, the Blues decide to send a one man squad of Frank Lampard to the game and decided that everyone else would go down to the pub instead. After around 45 minutes of old fashioned carousing, the Blues are gladdened to see a score line of Chelsea-1, United-0 when they turn on the TV at half time. And so it remains till stoppage time, when alas, United draw level and the match ends 1-1.

Smarting only slightly, the team call up Frank to congratulate him on his fine solo performance. Frank replies over the phone, “Solo performance, my pants! I got sent off in the 11th minute.”

– Chuck Norris on Frank James Lampard.

Frank Lampard is generally accused of being three things

  • Fat
  • A Scorer of Deflected Goals
  • Jesus H. Christ

On Saturday, Lampard showed without question that he is one of the best box-to-box mid-fielders in the world. Also, to most viewers who choose to watch television without the aid of fun house mirrors, Lampard showed that not only is he not fat, but also that I have nothing worthwhile to add to this clause of the current sentence.

Lampard may not be blessed with the oodles of raw natural talent of a Messi, a Ronaldo or a Zidane, but I’m ecstatic that Chelsea have in Frank, a mid-fielder whose off the ball movement in and around the box is just phenomenal. No wonder, he gets into so many goal scoring positions. You would also be hard pressed to find someone who is, and I don’t want to jinx this, as injury free as Lampard. And before you jump onto the deflected-goals band wagon, this will have you know that roughly 8% of his goals are off deflections. Just saying.


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American Idol - Here I come!

Ladies and Gents, BigFourZa comes to you with an extremely heartrending piece of 2 day old news. That ear piece wearing, druggie offspring rearing, touchline halftime meeting conducting mega douchebag; Phil Brown has been relieved of his duties of managing the group of thugs football team popularly known as Hull City. This comes as no great surprise to the more discerning football fan. Indeed what is more ‘scratch of the head’ worthy is the fact that he managed to stay solvent all these days as we believe this was an event a year in the making. (more…)

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