Archive for October, 2009

The Liverpool Way


Vroom Vroom

Fulham_crestSputter Sputter… <Off>


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FIFA has announced its 23-man shortlist for World Player of the Year. Lets discuss who we think should win and why.

Michael Ballack
Gianluigi Buffon
Iker Casillas
Didier Drogba
Michael Essien
Samuel Eto’o
Steven Gerrard
Thierry Henry
Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Andres Iniesta


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A Letter to Castrol

Tevez:  Pippo! If both of us marry, a kid with my work rate and your goal rate would be born who would go onto become one of the finest strikers in the world. What do you think?

Pippo: But what if the reverse happens you fool?”

– An excerpt from the book “As gay as it gets”


Dear officer concerned,

I can understand that this entire manufacturing of lubricants is a boring business.  But that does not mean you will simply stroll into the sacred land of football and start monitoring football players’ performances with some abstruse mathematical formulae. Remember! This is football not the clearance between a turbine shaft and the journal bearing on which it rests. Even if you do evolve a mathematical formula for monitoring players’ performance then maybe you should make sure that players like Rafael Marquez, Claudio Pizarro do not feature in the top 10 at least. If you are not sure how, here are a few examples to drive home our point.

Example 1:

Points scored by Rafael Marquez according to the Castrol Performance Index’s complex mathematical formula = x (say);

But the interior of his head is made totally of saw dust => Reduce 1174 from x.

Hence, the corrected score= x-1174; (more…)

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Enough Liverpool bashing has been done to keep me sated for a month now. There are only so many Voronin jokes and beach ball jokes you can make before it gets a bit stale. Fortunately for us Arsenal fans, fresh meat has arrived in the form of the scum. North London derbies are always a special occasion (if you’re an Arsenal fan all the more so, barring the one obvious time).

So I was writing ‘Fran is the Man’ when something weird happened. What I felt was a perfectly correct sentence grammatically, was flagged with one of those irritating green squiggly lines. Naturally, the usual ‘Technology, Bah! Microsoft is filled with a bunch of Neanderthals’ emotions were felt. Fully prepared to ‘Ignore Rule’ I right clicked where the error was. And THIS was what came up. (The author  (me) fully recommends you click on the image and view it in full size) (more…)

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The Kids have Grown

Maddy’s Note: Our man Felipe is back, bringing you a great take on the Carling Cup encounter which he was THERE for.
The Kids
Who would expect a team of kids to beat a very experienced and solid Liverpool? One one would say Arsenal were favourites, but I just have to confess I didn’t think that way until the kick-off yesterday. (more…)

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Sorry Vishwa. You’re the man but still a try.

Some say he thinks Alex Ferguson is a swear word. Some say he has a bicycle kick that not even Iker Casillas would have dared to stop. All we know is, he’s called THE AQUAMAN.

– No Sir, not Carlton Parlmer

Sendros is quality I tell you. And Scofield Sucks.

-Carlton Palmer that



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Doesn’t a head butt on Ljungberg count for anything? It’s bad enough that Silvestre plays for the Arsenal given the fact that he’s a <insert vile swear word insinuating oddities about his sexuality here> but to give him the captain’s armband? That simply is stretching it.

Monsieur Wenger, you know I have been a vociferous fan and that I’ve never EVER spoken ill of you. Not even when we lost to the Spuds 5-1 did I tolerate anyone belittling you in front of me. Why couldn’t you have made Eduardo captain? Or Nasri? Or Senderos? I’d rather even have had Craig Eastmond as skipper. I must confess myself disappointed in you Sir. (more…)

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