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Archive for the ‘Liverpool’ Category

Note: This fictitious piece is based on the reports that Kenny Huang and the Chinese government have expressed their interest in taking over Liverpool. There may be bits of what seem politically incorrect, which are completely not intended. I request all Chinese readers to take it in good humor, if this site is not blocked in China, that is.

Kenny Huang: Why hello Roy! I’ve been expecting you. Come in, have a seat.

Roy Hodgson: Thank you, Mr. Huang.

Huang: Now, the papers may be screaming that I’ve ‘taken over’ the club but I find that too strong a word. I prefer ‘joined hands’. I’m just here to help the club in any way I can. I trust that we can strike up a cordial partnership and take Liverpool back to where it deserves to be.

Hodgson: Of course sir. I’ll try my ut-

Huang: Say, this Google is something eh?

Hodgson: Pardon, sir?

Huang: Google Roy, Google. I’ve been stuck to my laptop for two hours and I still can’t get enough of it. It’s such a relief to type ‘girl on girl action’ on a search engine and not have my house blown up. (more…)

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So Final-ly it all comes down to this. The “FIFA World Cup” is on its way home to one of the two European bigwigs. Two nations with huge history, that have produced as many legends of the game, as any other country. Two teams that have embraced their own style of the game, be it the Total Voetball or the Tiki Taka. They boast of some of the world’s best academies in Ajax and Barcelona, that have churned out players of rare breed for decades. And yet when it happens that their best achievement have been limited to European championships, its only fair that these two will be vying for the coveted trophy this coming Sunday.

Hup Holland Hup or Vamos Espana?

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This World Cup has been quite interesting in the amount of publicity it has generated off the pitch, rather than on it. Going by the adage ‘No publicity is bad publicity’, FIFA and Sepp will be grinning from ear to ear at this event which has now truly attained the status of a global event (unlike the Americans who call their 16-team leagues the ‘World Series’). Of course, now and then they’ll have to make noises about making better refereeing decisions while still going ahead and appointing Howard Webb as the referee for the finals – a decision which certainly won’t go down well with our resident Scouser. Overall though the ‘FIFA World Cup’, as it has been branded everywhere, has become a self-feeding propaganda machine that can run on itself now. We thought we had already caught the craziest, wackiest types among those in our post here, but clearly we missed out the big newsmakers! So for those of you who have been living under a rock, here they are, in descending order of shock value.

Larissa and her... um... friends.

Larissa Riquelme – If you did read the crazy, wacky post we referred to above, you would’ve seen how we thought Dallys Ferreira was the best thing to happen to South American football this World Cup. (more…)

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There was once an Octopus named Paul,

Who sensationally predicted Argentina’s fall,

All hungry Paulie wanted was his dinner,

Astoundingly, though he always picked the winner. (more…)

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Zero. A magical number in many ways. It seems empty and valueless at the outset, rather like Robinho’s head (in appearance and description). But once you begin unraveling its many layers, you’ll be shocked at the countless things it can be associated with. Lassana Diarra’s IQ. The number of footballers in the English football team. The number of times I’ve had an actual, meaningful conversation with a girl including my mother. The list is endless. So I’m sure that no one will be too miffed if that list is reduced by one. I’m talking of course, of the possibility that ‘The number of World Cups the Netherlands have won’ won’t be on the list come the eleventh.

This time for Amsterdam?

As a result of their entertaining 3-2 win over Uruguay, the ‘best team to never have won the big one’ are staring at their first final since 1978. (more…)

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In my experience, predictions made by the ‘expert pundits’ have a success rate equal to that of Bangladesh in Test Cricket. Factor in that even a draw counts as a success to the Bangladeshis and it makes this statistic infinitely bleaker. All sooth saying that have been done with Reputations as a frame of reference this time around in South Africa have fallen flat; as flat as Russell Peters’ stand up shows are when you watch them for even just the second time. (more…)

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Roy Ahoy!

“When that sucker went in there, I said thank god for injury time”

Bill Cinton about S(uck)occer, after USA-Algeria goal.True story

“I did not have sex with “that” woman”

– Bill Clinton about the Sock Kucker…

On a dull football-less day like this comes a few interesting news. A Russian Femme Fatale being arrested at the USA is not something that happens every day, unless one is on a Bond movie overdose. And a Paraguayan model is willing to show her true colors generously should her team win the World cup. I, for one, would like to go on about it endlessly, but like a football match interrupting a Vuvuzela concert, comes Roy Hodgson.

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