No, it’s not about the other teams in the Champions League like Uriea Urigniceni and Rubin Kazan. Though from what I’ve seen of Rubin Kazan, they could go some distance in Europe, at least through the Europa League (hard luck for them to be in a group with Barca and Inter. If they’d been with Arsenal, they would’ve fancied their chances). It’s about the other sporting action which has practically taken over the Indian airwaves and left the Indian football fan with no choice but to watch it, in this week of International Breaks. Yep, it’s the Champions League T20 (no, I won’t call it its full name, I think they’re getting enough publicity as it is without my adding 0.0001% to their Page Rank).
Now, before being holier-than-thou, I will clarify, I liked IPL Season I. It was revolutionary in the way it made a structurally staid game like cricket into one big party. IPL Season II felt like an overdose right from the time it started. And of course, all those events surrounding the teams, especially KKR, which made everything but the game itself more important in that season. And that was the beginning of what was going to be one massive OD of cricket to follow, especially in what is considered ‘off-season’.
That, you would say, is fine. Footballers play all year round, and practically play two games every week nowadays with this fixture list. Especially in a World Cup year. That is true, and a very valid point at that. But the thing with cricket is, it’s not, as Sepp Heberger would’ve put it, as simple as
The ball is round, the game lasts 90 minutes, everything else is pure theory.
Firstly, the game doesn’t last 90 minutes. It just about lasts 90 minutes for one inning in a T20 game, and forget about that time-frame completely for ODIs and test matches. Secondly, the ball is not round. It’s slightly oblong, bulging at the center. If it were perfectly round, then all those Physics lessons about the Magnus effect being the cause for reverse swing would be wrong. But then, not like NCERT books are temples of wisdom otherwise.
Thirdly, everything else is not pure theory. There is a bat involved, a few stumps, and two slightly rotund men who’ve gone from wearing pure white to pure black, who can influence the game to levels far exceeding what the other 22 on the field can. Sure, football’s got its own Alan Wileys and other such kids who go running off to their Mom complaining about being bullied on the playground, but in general a cricket umpire has a lot more going to feed his megalomania than a football referee. I mean, how seriously can you take a fully grown man in knee-length shorts waving his hands about all the time.
Taking all this into consideration, cricket doesn’t really lend itself to an overdose like what football can afford to. And on top of that you also have second-string teams being played in dead rubbers, large squads, substitutions – all sorts of stuff. Whereas in cricket, J-P Duminy has to save South Africa against the Aussies down under, then save them in the Champions Trophy, then come back and save the Cape Cobras too. The last one especially is completely Duminy. There is him, then there are 10 school kids, one of who copies Harbhajan’s action. Just like we did when we were… um… school kids. I’m not even gonna talk about Kallis and the ‘without him we’re Royally Challenged’ Bangalore.
As if copying the name was not enough, the boys from ICC and Airtel (will Google still pick this up?) went on and copied the friggin Champions League anthem’s lyrics as well! Sure, they got multi-Oscar winning A.R.Rahman to go and compose a tune for them that any African Bushranger who’s passed his manhood test (apparently it involves leaping over fire and shit. And I don’t mean shit like ‘that sort of stuff’), would’ve composed while peeing half-asleep. But to go with the ‘Ola ola Oh’, the least they could’ve done was get imaginative lyrics. What do they get?
Only the Best
Only Chaaaampions
To compare, here’s the lyrics of the UEFA Champions League anthem, the Chorus Part:
- Die Meister
- The Champions
- Die Besten
- The best
- Les Grandes Équipes
- The big teams
- The Champions
Wow, what a complete coincidence.
It’s not like I don’t like cricket. I think Sachin-Sharjah-sandstorm and Aamir Sohail-Venkatesh Prasad-World Cup ’96 are moments that 1 Billion people watched, and haven’t forgotten. I appreciate that, and for all its global sportdom, I don’t think football can gather such sheer numbers to identify with one moment. My issue is with the general overdose, and slightly blatant replication of other sports’ formats that cricket is currently suffering from. Especially when the overdoes happens during the international break where I simply can’t switch to football even if I wanted to. It’s like the therapy from ‘A Clockwork Orange’
Saturday can’t come soon enough. And my friggin cable guy better not switch Star Sports with Star Cricket to show Delhi Bare(ly) devils vs the Royally Challenged!
i gave you the one star by the way for that poor unnecessary dig. Sonofabitch
What do you have against ARR anywayS ?! he didnt write the lyrics ! ….Plagiarism isnt 2 words or a name! If fifa were so bothered about somoene copying their name they should have either had it registered… Poor article
PS: totally uncalled for arsenal comment !
Its anyway, not anyways
Champions league is UEFA and not FIFA. They are independent organizations.
And ya, total agreement with how cricket is just trying too hard, and in the process losing its soul
I remember Sachin and the sandstorm like it was yesterday. Or the 1999 12 run loss to Pakistan in the Chennai test match. What moments.
So are you pained about the Arsenal comment or the ARR dig?
I think ARR sold out by the way. Lock, Stock and Barrel.
I think you sound older every time you mention Sachin-Sharjah and Sohail-Parasad-96. Agreed, they were the defining points of our cricket-following generation, but still… And 5 stars for the Arsenal dig, to compensate for the above 😛
The IPL is a massive overdose yes. And with Shilpa Shetty , Preity zinta Sharukh khan and that Cement sellers acting like Roman Abramovich the thing isnt bearable anymore.
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