Argelico Fucks to be new manager of Liverpool

Ducky’s Note about the column: As football followers, we all have our fair share of other sites where we read and discuss football. We have also been subjected to some very inane ‘comments’ from ‘experts’ on quite a few of them. Our new column, ‘BFZ Times’ hopes to address this situation by expressing what we feel about all their ‘rumors’ and ‘transfer gossip’ and such. We must acknowledge right here our inspiration – some of the leading lights of football media such as a newspaper whose name shines brightly in summer, and a site which has football ’all days of the year’ as its name. Also, massive apologies about the clearly attention-baiting headline. As I said, we’ve been truly inspired.

Ducky’s Note about the author: To help us in this noble endevour, BFZ presents its still-latest contributor (it seems to be the season for them doesn’t it?). Arun has been a Liverpool fan for 10 years now, and is very pained with the current state of the club (which fan isn’t?). Lately though he has accepted the ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’ philosophy (as seen by the post) and enjoys laughing about the sorry state of his club. And before all of you attack him for being so disloyal, he IS still going to stick by them through seasons to come. No matter who their manager is.

Fucks to be a manager

In a move which is bound to send waves of laughter in Manchester and the blue half of Merseyside amongst other places, Liverpool look set to appoint former Porto and Benfica star, Argelico Fucks as their new manager. The club, which was looking for a new manager for the last month after Rafael Benitez left the club by mutual consent, had initially drawn up a shortlist with Roy Hodgson heading it. However, the lure of the England job meant that Hodgson chose to delay giving an answer to Liverpool’s approach which led to the Merseyside club pulling the plug on the deal. Sources say that Kenny Dalglish was also in the reckoning, but he pulled out after he realized that the club wanted to pay to get their man.

36 year old Fucks is reported to have beaten Brighton and Hove Albion first team coach, Anthony Philip David Terry Frank Donald Stanley Gerry Gordon Stephen James Oatway and the legendary Stefan Kuntz, chairman of Kaiserlautern FC, to the post after Christian Purslow, managing director of Liverpool FC decided that Fucks had a better name. Famous more for his name than his playing career, Fucks is reportedly said to be very excited at being given this opportunity.

Fucks, whose playing career as a central defender saw him turn out for some giants of football like Santos, Internacional, Porto and Benfica, and has seen him play in 5 different countries, retired in 2007. He then turned to management with various Brazilian clubs without any success, the latest being his 1 year stint with Campinese Clube. His potential move to England has already caused some consternation amongst the conservatives who feel that kids would be affected adversely by the constant media presence he is bound to attract because of his name as Liverpool manager.

Fucks will have the huge task of rebuilding Liverpool on his hands, should he decide to take up the job. With stalwarts like Gerrard and Torres reportedly stunned that the board would appoint such an inexperienced manager who doesn’t even speak English, Fucks will have to use all his “expertise” to convince them to stay. With midfielder Javier Mascherano already eyeing a move to rejoin the fat Spanish waiter, the club is resigned to losing the Argentine captain. However, keeping Gerrard and Torres will be key to any success Fucks seeks with the club and getting new players to bolster the squad is as important.

Only time will tell if and when this move goes through. However at the end of it all, the one question everyone is asking, and what this article hopes to have answered with its headline is this: “What did he do to even be considered??”

Footnote: This article has been written in the exact standard that any of the leading lights of British media would follow -  No quotes, no references, only speculation, some true facts stated and of course some humour. And just to show this article is not as far fetched as it seems, please direct your attention to this blooper from BBC!

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