Chelsea played Aston Villa in a fixture that was considered one amongst the many possible stumbling blocks in the Blues’ run in. The Chelsea starting line up did not feature Didier Drogba. Chelsea’s line up however, did feature
Frank Lampard.
In an unspecified year, Chelsea needed to go play Manchester United at Old Trafford. Being very bored and very sober, the Blues decide to send a one man squad of Frank Lampard to the game and decided that everyone else would go down to the pub instead. After around 45 minutes of old fashioned carousing, the Blues are gladdened to see a score line of Chelsea-1, United-0 when they turn on the TV at half time. And so it remains till stoppage time, when alas, United draw level and the match ends 1-1.
Smarting only slightly, the team call up Frank to congratulate him on his fine solo performance. Frank replies over the phone, “Solo performance, my pants! I got sent off in the 11th minute.”
- Chuck Norris on Frank James Lampard.
Frank Lampard is generally accused of being three things
- Fat
- A Scorer of Deflected Goals
- Jesus H. Christ
On Saturday, Lampard showed without question that he is one of the best box-to-box mid-fielders in the world. Also, to most viewers who choose to watch television without the aid of fun house mirrors, Lampard showed that not only is he not fat, but also that I have nothing worthwhile to add to this clause of the current sentence.
Lampard may not be blessed with the oodles of raw natural talent of a Messi, a Ronaldo or a Zidane, but I’m ecstatic that Chelsea have in Frank, a mid-fielder whose off the ball movement in and around the box is just phenomenal. No wonder, he gets into so many goal scoring positions. You would also be hard pressed to find someone who is, and I don’t want to jinx this, as injury free as Lampard. And before you jump onto the deflected-goals band wagon, this will have you know that roughly 8% of his goals are off deflections. Just saying.
