A Fernando Torres special

I have been experiencing some extreme levels of mood swingings of late, courtesy of the club I follow. Infact, It was that day when Steve Bruce’s head rolled on to the pitch from the hands of a bewitched supporter and scored a goal against us. It was about that time the spate of injuries kicked off. One of the worst performances of our season at the Stadium of Light, which is why it was befitting of a thumping home win this time. And quite rightly we made sure Sunderland suffered like a black cat(oops, unintended!) being choked by the scruff of its neck.

Also now we know why Torres is just the best in the business of putting the ball behind the net and that any mildly sane comparison between him and that thick headed, rabies smitten, orangutan-like Shrek is as insignificant as a fly squatted by an elephant’s arse.

Torres finished the game in three minutes, when he received the Babel-headed pass from Reina, took it to the sidelines and after a couple of step-overs shot across the goal and over a bewildered Craig Gordon, in what has to be the goal of the season and almost a mirror-reflection of last year’s goal of the season. Let’s just say, even without wearing any of those Scouse shades, that Rooney would have never dreamt of scoring from such atrocious range. Another cheeky goal later took his tally to 18 in as many starts. I like this stat, that he has scored a goal at the rate of every 91 minutes or so which is quite ahead of Rooney and Drogba. And mind you, he never takes those penalties or free-kicks either.

Besides the brilliance of El nino, the rest of the team also gelled together in unison to bring out an exhilarating display of football. Some of my highlights will be Gerrard’s much improved display, Maxi Rodriquez’s cunning little runs in the right, Babel’s better overall play, Glen Johnson’s torrid surge which also saw him to his third goal for the club etc. Gerrard was back at the driving force he used to be, which is of primary importance to our play. The man has had his setbacks but it is about time he starts giving performances like these. If he could maintain the same level of tempo in the remaining games I think we should be there safely counting those 20m odd CL money.

With about 6-7 games to go for each teams, the next few games present some very interesting fixtures that should settle the score for most of the teams. It’s not a two horse race yet, but let’s just assume that Man City will get busted out of it sooner or later.

Spurs play the following teams. And given they play as expected, these are my predictions.

• Sunderland. Win
• Arsenalumina. Can’t trust these jokers, but at the most a draw.
• Chelsea. Lose. Surely with Jesus.H.Christ and all right?
• Man United. Lose.
• Bolton. Win
• Man City. Draw. And then Mancini and ‘Arry will probably end up scruffing themselves and twisting their nipples and all, in a bar on a pink street.
• Burnley. Win

Means if I get it right Spurs will end up losing 10 points, which should be enough for us. Hope I haven’t jinxed it.

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