Flawless United steamroll Milan

Ducky’s Note: If one feels like making Paint images with random drawings of arrows after defeating 2 time European Champions and a team that is 3rd in a league of 16, imagine what all geometric inticacies I have to create for defeating 7 time European Champions and a team second in the Italian League, by one goal better. But I won’t. Because we’re United, and this is what we do.

Wayne's World

After the British commentators had showered copious praise on Arsenal’s dismantling of Porto the day before as they are wont to do, that too without their talismanic (cough cough) captain, it was fair that they would not expect the same from us. After all, we carried a 3-2 lead from the away leg, our boy wonder was a doubtful starter and we were finally playing something close to our first choice back 5. We are a professional side, who can buckle down and stifle the opposition to death if that’s what is required. It was a heartening sight to see the lineup though – Wazza back to his role as the world’s best frontman, a 5-man midfield with everyone knowing exactly what’s needed of them, and Rio and Vida at the heart of the defence. Gosh it’s been so long since both of them have been mentioned in the same sentence.

Without Pato, Milan were always going to lack a creative spark – especially his whole Brazilian telepathy with Ronaldinho which toremented us for most part of the first half at the San Siro. That was unfortunate, I thought the Solskjaer lookalike was very good value for money in the first leg, and it probably could’ve been a tighter contest with him around. However, I”m not complaining that he wasn’t. Milan also welcomed back an old enemy of ours in their starting lineup – Mathieu Flamini starting for the Italian retirement home in the hope of countering United’s 5-man midfield and providing Dinho and Huntelaar some space to work with. Excellent plan FAIL.

Our first goal arrived before most of the Old T faithful had properly settled in after welcoming Golden Balls back. It was as textbook a goal as you could find – Wingback makes up ground, finds the time and space to cross, striker gets in front of the defence, 1-0. The game was over right there, but most importantly it set the tone for a lot of battles which would go on through the length of the game and all of which we won comprehensively.

Gary Nev vs Ronaldinho

Fergie decided to go with the experience and combativeness of Gary Nev for this one, over the enthusiastic Rafael. To be fair to him, Rafaels’s a freat attacking wingback, but at the San Siro he had seemed quite awed by his counterpart at moments. He thought what was required of him was to not let Ronaldinho make his pass, or dance around him, or do any of those other million tricks he keeps thinking up, and so stuck close to him but BEHIND him. Gary Nev figured if he was not foinf to get the ball at all, it’d save all of United a bunch of trouble, and hence spent most of the game throwing himself between the ball and Dinho. It worked, with the Brazilian losing the ball to a throw in, or conceding a foul as he attempted to get back (a particular moment when he practically mounted Park from behind comes to mind). And of course, Dinho is never going to track back, hence leaving Nev with all that time and space for the first goal, and a lot of forward surges through the length of the game as well.

Valencia vs Jankulovski

I simply love this guy to bits. He’s like that T-1000 from the Terminator 2 movies – expressionless, piercing eyes and runs like mad. And unlike Ronaldinho, he actually tracks back. Moment of the game: Well into the second half, we’re already 3-0 up and Valencia is in our penalty box throwing in a perfect tackle to get the ball off Jankulovski who managed to cross his own half line a total of 4.5 times in the game (crossing it for taking throw-ins count for only half points. So 7 of those make 3.5 times). Ball won, he spreadsthe ball through our beautifully laid out midfield out on to the other wing and 15 seconds later, he’s going for the header from Nani’s ball which Abbiatti just about pushed away from his head. Anyone mention box-to-box midfielders? Jankulovski would have considered retirement by the hour mark, as United, now in firm control of the tie looked to Valencia everytime there was a forward break, and he was more than willing to oblige. I’d said in my last post that Valencia might not yet have the experience for such nights. I stand corrected. A Perfect 10 for him.

Park vs Pirlo

My biggest and most heartfelt and completely-glad-I-was-wrong apology is reserved for Ji-Sun Park. When Carrick picked up that needless second yellow (where the heck is it written in the rulebook about delaying a freekick meriting a yellow! Scholesy got one this leg as well), there was a slight worry about keeping Pirlo on the leash. But Park stuck with him tirelessly throughout the game, following him to all parts of the pitch, and then when we were breaking, ran his heart out from one end of the pitch to other. And I mean all horizontally, vertically and diagonally. He’s not the strongest into a tackle, and his holding-up skills are quite suspect. But if you want to feel like you’re playing with 12 men (with due respect to the Stretford enders), Three Lung Park is your man. Good for the boyo that he got his goal, and a lovely finish at that too.

Parkour

Scholes vs Ambrosini

This was one of the more generic battles on the pitch… more like the United central midfield of Scholes and Fletch vs the Milan central midfield of… well, a lot of people. Milan were especially lost after the Seedorf substitution they made at half-time. A lot of people were left wondering where they should play, while Scholes and Fletch calmly went about breaking up any play that threatened to happend in the middle of the park. Ambrosini was practically anonymous, while Scholesy’s delightful through-ball for the above goal was a show of sheer experience – with 70,000 voices urging ‘Shooooot’, Scholes faked the shot and laid a neat ball through to Park. 3-0. Of course, there was also the brilliant moment where Scholes slid in two footed from the halfline to our penalty box, a move that the Canadian luge team would’ve been proud of in the Winter Olympics. Credit to Flamini for staying on his feet and not tumbling around 5 times, clutching his heart and looking up skywards as if apocalypse had arrived. Which is what Drogba would’ve done.

Wayne Rooney vs The Rest of the World

That seems to be the fairest matchup against this man right now. Form is temporary, class is permanent, and genius is once in a lifetime. This is that lifetime. Enough has been said, will be said and try to be said about the streak he’s on right now, and it cannot be enough. I will not attempt to do that now, this post is already long enough. But the moment after the first goal really sums up how we feel about him right now – Gary leaping into his arms in an eyes-closed embrace. As if to say “SO glad you’re on our side man”. We all are.

Wonder Wednesday threw up another beautiful result as CR7′s Spanish move unravels even more rapidly. Real Madrid failed to make it through to the quarterfinals yet again… all the way since that game where Golden Balls scored for us in that 4-3 match is it?  Just goes to show, we don’t miss Ronaldo. And just goes to show, even with him, Real Madrid are crap. Expect CR9′s tantrums to steadily go up through the rest of the season now. The day they try to build a team instead of buying a team, is the day they will reclaim their glory years. But that aside, the final word here need not be about inconsequentials like Madrid. Yesterday was Old Trafford’s revenge for three seasons ago. And we bloody did it in style.