Lighter’s Note: This post has nothing to do with Ashley Cole’s private life. Not unless he has been involved with someone from the Bermudan women’s cricket team. However, given recent news reports, this remains a distinct possibility.
Ladies (and the obligatory gentlemen), we at BigFourZa are big fans of women’s sport in general and women in particular. The classes we’ve missed to watch women’s beach volleyball and figure skating alone would constitute an entire semester at most centers of learning. And so, we spent a long time contemplating what the least offensive way of writing this post would be. However, since we were unable to stop giggling like school girls, without any further ado, we bring you this.
The context is a world cup qualifier for the Women’s Cricket World Cup. That’s all you need to know. Seriously. In possibly the greatest cricket match that I have not witnessed, the women from Bermuda managed to score 187 runs fewer than Sachin Tendulkar’s most recent knock. A deeper look at the score card will reveal that 10 of those 13 runs they allegedly scored came from South African dowry gifts.
Now, a sequence that reads 1-0-0-1-0-0-1-0-0-0-0 will be mistaken by many to either be Morse code for “Haa-Haa-Haaaa” or for a retarded magic sequence from a Dan Brown novel. But to the captain of Bermuda’s women’s cricket team, this represents something more abstract and beautiful. Progress.
“Narasimha va thotta, current ke shock adikum.”
- Captain
“13 runs???”
- Captain Holy Jesus! You’ve got to be kidding me
“Today, women’s cricket in Bermuda has come a long way.”
- Captain of the Bermudan Women’s Cricket team.
The only possible way they could have come “a long way” is if the cricket team walked all the way from Bermuda to the stadium. Some people might say that this is a first time for them, but unless this is the first time they are seeing a cricket bat, there is no logical way of explaining that score card. The most riveting moment of suspense came in the 7th over, when after successfully getting through the drinks break without losing any wickets, the Bermudan batsmen were unable to remember which ends of the pitch they were supposed to be on. Inside sources tell us that the team’s warm up routine consists of watching a you-tube video of Dwayne Leverock and then playing a few rounds of book cricket.
Now, you would think that they would defend their meagre target with their lives. Unfortunately, unless you believe that life lasts 4 deliveries, you would be wrong. That’s right. 4 deliveries was all it took the South African women to chase down this target. Bermuda, not to be outdone by their South African opponents, also conceded 10 in the way of extras. Olivia Anderson of South Africa was particularly proud of her lone boundary, which makes her the only person ever to be responsible for over 80% of the runs scored of the bat in a cricket match.
We wait with bated breadth for South Africa vs. Papua New Guinea.
i used to love book cricket
The women’s cricket match wasn’t our finest moment. There were whispers down here in Bermuda as many objected to money used for this team which clearly wasn’t ready – when they felt it could have been better spent on some of our other sports where our people are more competitive.
Dwayne Leverock is the guy, he did us proud….
Even as a proud Bermudian, I must say this is an interesting post and made me snicker, I may link it up on our site.
A lot of the content on our site is in the form of tongue-in-cheek posts and we’re happy you can see the lighter side of the whole thing
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I agree that Dwayne Leverock is the man. I have very few memories of that world cup. An outstanding reflex catch that Leverock took is one of them.
Man, that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long long time!
Oh yes, I can see the lighter side, and can easily admit it made me laugh. You should have heard what people said down here, your was mild compared to that