John – Wayne

I know I had said my next few posts would be a tribute to a Mister Tarantino, but I couldn’t resist because I read two things in the papers today that I HAD to comment on.

Let’s start off with the most interesting thing that has EVER happened at Chelsea. And predictably and understandably it has absolutely squat to do with football. Captain Courageous, Captain Cool, Captain Charismatic (Captain Cunt to the rest of us) had the whistle blown off on this chick he was doing on the side cheating on the lovely but, singularly lacking in any sort of taste, Toni Poole (lovely, snigger). Yeah, I can hear you say:

‘Hey! So what? These athletes do it all the time. Tiger Woods got busted didn’t he? Affairs in sport are like managers at the bridge. Too many to keep track of’

Yes, I agree with you there. What Tiger Woods does in his own time is his business and that would’ve been true of CC too but for THIS.

The tart that Terry was going at it with was Wayne Bridge’s girlfriend of years; Vanessa Perroncel. Heh, how bad must HER taste be? At least Terry is rich AND famous [sic], Bridge is however just rich. Yeah. I guess that explains it adequately. So that is one MORE thing in common that Chelshit and Citeh have.

Bridge is reportedly in ‘bits’ at this betrayal. And CC tried to get all of it swept under the carpet by trying to get a Super Injunction. No, an ordinary one won’t do for Super Terry will it? The judge basically asked him to wank off thoroughly dismissing the argument which was made on the grounds that it was in public interest as any fall-out between the players could affect team morale in the England camp and even influence team selection at this year’s World Cup. Yeah, I really cannot summon any sympathy either for Bridge because of that goal he scored against us to knock us out of Europe in ’03 – ’04; serves him right. As for the English football team, really? You think I’ll ever be able to feel for a team which has CC, Cuntley Cole, Shrek, Stevie D (D for Diver of course) et al in their ranks? Get real.

Bridge ought to thank his stars she didn’t do it with Fat Frank and give it a rest.

Right, now for an even bigger scandal that has been doing the rounds; Arsène Wenger’s appalling insult directed towards Martin O’Neill and Aston Villa. You know for a while I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. The press is notorious for splicing saucy bits from interviews and soliciting comment and rebuttal from referred parties. So for a while I thought all Martin heard was the phrase ‘long ball’. However, clearly his latest diatribe proves he is an attention seeking, insecure, mug of a man who does not buy a single news paper. This was exactly what Arsène Wenger had said in his post match interview;

We know when we come here what we get and we were not disappointed. They play a very efficient English game with long balls and it is very physical. They are a good side at counter attacking.

He also went on to say;

I wish them to have a good run now because they are quality. They are well organized and have a strong spirit. They are very strong physically and the four in midfield do not stop running and all these players can score goals, so they have a chance. I think they have a very good chance

How insulting! If I were Martin O’Neill, I’d kill myself without being able to take the shame.

Is it just me or was what Wenger said merely observatory, spot on and even dare I say it, complimentary even? That twat Collins has also got into the act backing his manager. Sheesh.  Oh screw them. They’re never going to break into the Top 4. And serves them right I think.

Anyway, coming back to things that actually matter, the excitement levels are rising. Just a day left to what promises to be an extremely intriguing game and while sex scandals and shitty interviews are fun, ultimately it’s all about the 90 minutes on the pitch. Oh, United, Rephrase, it’s all about the 96 minutes on the pitch. Cheers to a good game and a satisfactory birthday present.