The Villain of Villains.

He has been quiet this game. Fit on scraps. But when this falls through you kinda knew, YOU KINDA KNEW where it was gonna end.

-  Andy Gray sadly glancing at his twin Vodka shots

Martin Hugh Michael O’Neill, former Celtic Manager with whom a UEFA cup finalist, a European Cup winner with Nott Forest as a player, has had only one ambition in life ever since he took over the reigns at Aston Villa. To break in to the top four. And let’s have it. He’s a decent manager. Tried hard but fucked up last season. Somewhere the Villains lost the plot and handed the gunners the fourth place. So when decent managers make mistakes, the next thing they need to do is to make sure they do it the right un-fucked-up way. And To his credit, Martin O’Neill did more than a decent job when Aston Villa clashed against their direct opponents for fourth place at Villa Park. Anyway the moral of the story is when you’ve worked so hard to get yourself upto a position only to be denied at the final moment by some force, equivalent to the ones that let bullets fly past Mr.Jules and Mr.Vincent and hit the wall, Well.. You’ve gotta be shitting yourself just like this.

There are many aspects to the goal which described the otherwise non-descriptive game. But first let me get back to Andy Gray, a true Evertonite, Blue-shite, the one and only Martin Tyler’s Monkey. Now having watched the game on low-volume I don’t know what he babbled for most of the game. But when it got down to this, as a scouser you got to love the egg on his face. This guy went completely mute when the goal went in for seconds and then re-appears soberly uttering “Unbelievable(X 28)” repetitiously. And finally mustered some courage to cool himself. HEH! Love you egg face.

The next aspect is how much Liverpool didn’t deserve to win. As said, Villa were all over them for 90 minutes. One would expect them to convert at least one of the many opportunities they had in the game, with as many corners and close set-pieces. John Carew and the likes, to add some cricket(technically CSK) metaphor-ing, were like Mathew Hayden compared to the Parthiv Patels and Suresh Rainas of Liverpool. Liverpool to their credit where abysmal in their Zonal marking. Actually they were zonal un-marking at one moment, with all their players trying to reduce the distance between themselves. Yes we all know how integral you lot are, but please keep your cuddling-aroundedness to the dressing room and close some zones, because not all times will the ball fall to someone like Downing and neither will Reina be glad to save your asses for eternity.

Talking about which, the only other player who should get as many marks as Torres or perhaps even more would be Pepe Reina. What a top goal keeper this guy is. Let’s just put any other goal keeper at his place and for the kind of torment he would go through, he would definitely want out. But not Pepe Reina. Not in a million years. I fucking Love Pepe for the man he is. A guy who ran the whole ground to celebrate Ngog’s killer against United( ok?). Even at bad times like these, with the club still failing to give him an renewed contract, this baldie has said he can’t imagine wearing another shirt than the dumb yellow costume of Liverpool FC. What a pathetic colour to wear in front of 50,000 people. Ramarajan (renowned for wearing  orange coloured gentlemanly costumes) must be laughing at him.

Martin O’Neill, for all the chances that Villa had, was jumping all over the place. Someone should launch a Martin O’Neill “Jack in the box” series of toys. This is how it operates. Every time the ball comes to Agbonlahor or Carew, this box should be in a ready to open state leaving a millimeter gap between the lid and the box. Now remember to maintain that position as long as the ball is at their feet. And when the ball is fired, open the lid simultaneously. So that’s when Martin O’Neill “The Jack” jumps out of the box and launches itself into the air. And finally as the ball goes wide O’Neill returns to ground with a huge cry with hands all over his head. Special Edition series has Martin O’Neill in a commode in legs position as in the above pic.

And about the goal. Again it was totally undeserving of Liverpool. It didn’t come of a proper assist. Yossi Benayoun ran  into Warnock and suddenly before any one knew it the ball was in front of Torres. From there it was a clinical Torres finish. Take it wide and roll it over to the far post. Common goal keepers. How many times will you not jump to the far side. It’s always that side.

Torres is the Kaiser-Soze of Liverpool football club. A pretender for 90 minutes and when the climax appears he rises to prominence. He’s like what many desi heroes would say “The Villain of Villains”. Like Beethoven conducting the final section of Eroica. A Javed Miandad hitting a six of the final delivery. A Jimmy page surging ahead in a lung-bursting guitar-riff a la “Stairway to Heaven”. This is Muhammed Ali knocking out George Foreman style football. Oh how much I Love you Fernando. Please take care of the Spuds also.