Archive for October, 2009
FIFA has announced its 23-man shortlist for World Player of the Year. Lets discuss who we think should win and why.
“Tevez: Pippo! If both of us marry, a kid with my work rate and your goal rate would be born who would go onto become one of the finest strikers in the world. What do you think?
Pippo: But what if the reverse happens you fool?”
– An excerpt from the book “As gay as it gets”
A LETTER TO CASTROL
Dear officer concerned,
I can understand that this entire manufacturing of lubricants is a boring business. But that does not mean you will simply stroll into the sacred land of football and start monitoring football players’ performances with some abstruse mathematical formulae. Remember! This is football not the clearance between a turbine shaft and the journal bearing on which it rests. Even if you do evolve a mathematical formula for monitoring players’ performance then maybe you should make sure that players like Rafael Marquez, Claudio Pizarro do not feature in the top 10 at least. If you are not sure how, here are a few examples to drive home our point.
Points scored by Rafael Marquez according to the Castrol Performance Index’s complex mathematical formula = x (say);
But the interior of his head is made totally of saw dust => Reduce 1174 from x.
Hence, the corrected score= x-1174; (more…)
Enough Liverpool bashing has been done to keep me sated for a month now. There are only so many Voronin jokes and beach ball jokes you can make before it gets a bit stale. Fortunately for us Arsenal fans, fresh meat has arrived in the form of the scum. North London derbies are always a special occasion (if you’re an Arsenal fan all the more so, barring the one obvious time).
So I was writing ‘Fran is the Man’ when something weird happened. What I felt was a perfectly correct sentence grammatically, was flagged with one of those irritating green squiggly lines. Naturally, the usual ‘Technology, Bah! Microsoft is filled with a bunch of Neanderthals’ emotions were felt. Fully prepared to ‘Ignore Rule’ I right clicked where the error was. And THIS was what came up. (The author (me) fully recommends you click on the image and view it in full size) (more…)