End of an Era

Thanks for all the memories King Kolo. Of all the players we’ve let go in the past two years I’m saddest to see you leave. Good luck. Now bank your money, ship in a few dozen goals, score a couple of those own goals you were famous for once, when you’re playing us and sink the ‘other’ Mancs

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Asia Tour

As most of you are well aware, all of the Big Four are out doing tours of the Far East, Middle East, Latin America, Africa and whatever other places that are expected to show an GDP growth of 5+% in the next few years. Chelsea of course, went to Russia. The matches have managed to throw up quite a few interesting stories – lot of draws for Liverpool, the lack of their biggest draw (as in Stevie G) becoming a full-blown media war, Arsenal’s chance:goal ratio of 200:1, Man City losing to South African sides… nothing that the average Super Sunday doesn’t throw up. However, I believe the idea, was to not have the average Super Sunday effect with these tours. That never seemed likely to happen, till this last match in United’s Far East tour.

Those who have so far caught only the reviews of these matches on most sports sites, well, a semi-firsthand report of the match against… well, that Chinese team.

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Tripppp

Football jokes are funny for alot of reasons. The main among them of course being, they are football jokes. Like these.

1. (At the beginning of last season) What’s the difference between Tottenham and a triangle? A triangle has more points.
2. Robbie Keane for Liverpool broke David Blaine’s record of doing nothing in the box for 48 hours.
3. Real Madrid are also playing Fantasy Football. Except they have no price cap.

Anything else floating out there is completely welcome.

[Source: Bhargav Narayanan. Who spends his spare time thinking up Chuck Norris jokes]

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Dr. Strangefoot (Or How I learned to stop worrying and love the ball)

Ten things that might/could/should not happen next season. In no particular order.

1. Michael Owen scores more goals that his entire 4 years at Newcastle. Oh wait, he’s already done that.
2. The confusing Champions League structure results in quarter-final matchups such as Standard Liege vs. Dinamo Bucharest while Arsenal, Sevilla and other equivalent 4^th place teams are knocked out.
3. Real Madrid are investigated for running a giant Ponzi scheme, where they bought progressively more expensive players  by collecting money from all their lesser players.
4. Man City adopts Plan B to increase attendance- ‘Every fan is given a gallon of fuel free’. Plan A: ‘Emmanuel Adebayor’ fails miserably.

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Sub-Super Sub

So, in the most shocking news since MJ was found to be actually black (God bless his soul), former Liverpool, Real Madrid, Newcastle, England striker Michael James Owen, has completed a move to Manchester United. The word on the street, and reactions range from “whaaaat?? whaaaaat! Is SAF senile?” to “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry”. I’ll tell you the reasons to do both.

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