Quotable Quotes, And Everything that’s Wrong with the World

Maddy’s Note: Here’s one disgruntled, drunk mother of a United fan yet again. He digs up the greatest non-publicly-attributed-to-celebrity comments which ultimately make superb sense. Master of Satire (almost). Now he’s got a grouse with almost everything in the world. Poor boy Vishwa.

….you can either be a Real Madrid fan or a Barcelona fan. Not both. Not at any cost

-Karl Marx in Das Capital (Vol No: II, Chapter 11. Page no: 479)

Good feelings are ephemeral. The Bad ones are ever-lasting

– Katrina Kaif (An Indian Philosopher)

I can’t give you an honest report of the match.. I was too drunk and was watching the match with one apparently ardent Real Madrid fan who was supporting Barcelona, citing Spanish pride as the reason (sigh!) and i missed the first five odd minutes. I am avoiding papers. So I can’t give an artificial report of the match, either. But  the match was a total let-down for all the Man Utd fans. I mean , it is not often, when you see the Reds so clueless for 82 and a half minutes. You don’t get to see Edwin van der sar getting beaten at the near-post after getting a hand to it, so often. All in all, it was one of those not-to-be nights. Like the night at the San Siro when we got spanked 3-0. Outplayed and outfought the game belonged to Barcelona and with that we officially come to the end of one hell of a season. I am extremely sad, that it had come to an end in one very very disappointing fashion. Still , Van der Sar, near post, fuck!.

From the Champions league final we take a  sudden, unexpected turn towards Occupational Hazards. One of the prime occupational hazards is the loss of interest in sports that once sports enthusiasts encounter. I am no exception. Working 6 days a  week and spend that spare day traveling to and from Chennai. I couldn’t catch most part of the Saturday’s  matches and late kick-offs on Sundays. Office is office and sods are sods and work is well.. worship. So all sport related web-sites blocked, your fodder has primarily been interaction with blessed people. It is safe, therefore to say that I didn’t enjoy Man Utd run in the premiership as much as I did the champions league one. That s left me even more gutted. Still, Van der Sar, near post, Shit!

Ok..Ok…lets think about the times ahead. Lots of rumours are flying around regarding the futures of Ronaldo and Tevez at Old Trafford. Ronaldo’s departure will certainly create a void which I am pretty sure cannot be filled. But the more we traverse in the fabric of space and time, the chances of Ronaldo’s departure  grows higher. I hope to god, that he doesn’t leave. But God has better things to do in life!. So if Ronaldo goes, who will he be replaced by?… People are saying Franck Ribery, Antonio Valencia, Kaka. But I would prefer the tall-strong Swede Zlatan Ibrahimovic. He is quick, he is strong, he can dribble, he can shoot from distance, he can head. One complete player replacing another complete player. Franck Ribery and Antonio Valencia certainly do not belong to the above mentioned class. They are very very good players, make no mistake about it. But they won’t be an ideal replacement for Ronaldo. As for Kaka, I don’t want a south-american playmaker in Man Utd. The thing with these playmakers is that, they take the team to great heights when in form , and totally bring them down when they alone are not in form. And more importantly I don’t want Man Utd to commit a financial blunder. Not now. Not ever.  That about it.. Still, Van der Sar, near post, Damn!

Carlos Tevez. The Argie has been an exceptional player and an untiring warrior always running behind every ball for Man Utd. I hope to god, that he doesn’t leave. But god has better things to do in life!. Should he leave, I feel Man Utd should go for the ex-red devil Alan Smith of Newcastle. He is a good team player, he is strong  and gifted with exceptional stamina. Very versatile and does every role to satisfaction. He is a great professional and would be available for 3-4 million pounds. And he will definitely be a great addition to the squad. And Man Utd are not new to  re-signing ex-players. The current citeh manager is one good example. Still, Van der Sar, near post, hell!

As for the rest of the team, Foster looks like he is going to take Van der Sar’s gloves. And I expect him to get more  first-team chances as we will traverse in the space-time fabric. O’Shea/ Brown right back. We also have our Rafael and Hargreaves to fill in if the two of the them are not available. Vidic, Ferdinand, Johnny Evans and Wes Brown at the heart of the defence. And Evra’s place looks immutable with Fabio developing into a very capable understudy. Anderson, Carrick, Hargreaves, Fletcher look like they are going to be the lungs and legs of the team. I expect  Nani to get a lot of opportunities to prove his worth (He’d better). And Berbatov and Rooney will play upfront if Ronaldo’s replacement happens to be a winger. Otherwise I expect Rooney to play along the left-hand side, a role he has done exceptionally and to remarkable success.  We d still have Giggs, Scholes and Neville but I doubt if they d play a big part next season, adding to the squad depth, nevertheless. We have the likes of Welbeck, Macheda and Darren Gibson to add to the depth of the squad and we d still be favorites to lift the proverbial trophy.  Still, Deccan Chargers, IPL trophy, fuck!

A word of sorry for Newcastle. I feel they need to have players who wear their hearts on their sleeves and relegation was a deserved punishment for the lack of commitment they exhibited. In any case, they are now into a league where goals and wins mean more than commentary, sheer entertainment and excitement. It will be mortgage repayments, school fees, breakfast, lunch and dinner. Time for the magpie to transform itself into a Phoenix. Still, M.L.Gehani, Indian Welding society, Fuck!

…van der sar, near post, fuck!

- John Milton (Paradise Lost)

…yes, he did try for 16 times, but he succeeded on the 17^th. He was better than Liverpool atleast.

– Firdausi in Shah Namah about Mohammed of Ghazini.